Log kyaa kahenge?!

Do you ever feel there's freedom and also there's not? You say to yourself you are the king or queen of your life, you have your own rules but how many of us are taking decisions fearlessly? How many of us are truly following our hearts? I bet at least once in our lives knowingly or unknowingly we would have succumbed to the "Log kya kahengee " factor. We would have stopped doing something because it's against the societal norms, It's against what many people believe. But to me, even if the whole world's against you, you gotta do what you want to - that's it, period. 

I wish life would be as simple as it was supposed to be. I mean you like something, just go get it, you want to start something, do it! What's that pulling you? Is it because you doubt your capabilities or is it because you're coaxed by the expectations society has for you? For many of us, I'm sure it's the latter.

He's a boy - he can't cook, she's a girl she can't leave her kids at home and go work, they're too young for this, they're too old to fall in love, they're too old to start a new career, They can't be just friends, Your peers are earning more than you, We hear so many comments like these every single day in many ways, and all these boil down to only one thing- people not allowing other people to live their own life. And who are these people? Who are we blaming? It's you, it's me, it's us.  

Society is nothing but us. In the name of having a perception, we are becoming judgemental. You deal with your life, there's no need for one to have an opinion on another's life. You can ask me what harm can it cause? Your opinion stays with you and doesn't even reach anyone else? No, it doesn't - it spreads like fire, it just snatches away freedom and the willingness to live life on its terms - so much that it can even break a person. 

Being judgemental is a quality in every one of us ( Would be more than happy if someone can say they have never judged anyone for anything though ) Even the smallest comment you make on your friend could be bothering him/her. What's deeply rooted in society can't be erased but surely can be changed if we start it from our house. 

Start not judging people around you for what they wear, how they look, what they do and for that matter anything. You can't change your "padosewaali aunty' but your mom is also someone's 'padosewaali aunty' so start telling your mom that the boy dropping your neighbour's daughter may not be her boyfriend like your mom thinks and even if it's so it's okay and she shouldn't judge anyone for anything or start bad-mouthing about someone's personal life. Tell your sister it's okay if she's not ready to get married by a certain age fixed by everyone around her and she can have a kickass future, tell your brother it's okay for him to take time and build his career and it's okay for  men to seek help  when needed. 

Tell the young parents you know not to force anything on the kids. Let the new generation at least grow without the barriers of caste, colour, creed and gender. Giving up on something very near to you because of what everyone around you is wanting is not okay. You see so many people not following their passion because they're scared it is not a proper job, we see people giving up their love because of the caste and religion barriers in the society . It's 2023 and no this hasn't changed yet. People are still blindfolded by all these petty things forgetting what matters in the end is how you feel about it but not how society feels about it. 

Stop normalizing sacrificing things which are very important to you for people - even if it's your closest people or parents. I understand parents do a lot for us, I'll forever be indebted and grateful to my parents, I love them to the moon and back , I'll always be there for them and have their back no matter what, but not at the cost of my happiness and future, and like many people think- No, this is not being selfish, its just wanting to lead your own life and not to have regrets when you get older and I'm sure my parents would never want me to be unhappy but they would surely say " maaku ok kaaani andharu emankuntaaru naana ?" ( We are fine with your decisions but what would people around us say ?)and every time they say this me and my brother together say " andhar gurinchi manaki endhuku ammaa"( Why do you bother about people around ?) and I think people should understand this, you can never please everyone around you and people will always have something to say no matter what you do. 

So the least all of us can do is " Jiyo, jeeeneee dhoo" 😁 and be a little less judgemental every passing day .